In the beginning of this chapter the brothers talk with Jacob
(their father) about what to do. Jacob is opposed to them going back to Egypt
with their youngest brother, Benjamin, but finally makes up his mind and tells
them to go. The second the arrive to Egypt Joseph immediately spots out
Benjamin. I'm sure he is still feeling a lot of pain from what his brothers had
originally done to him and seeing Benjamin probably made things so surreal for
him. He tells his servants to prepare a meal for the brothers because he plans
on eating with them for lunch.
As soon as the brothers arrived to Joseph's house they told the
steward about the silver and how it was misplaced in their bag. How they did
not have any intention of taking it and that they didn't deserved to be
punished for it. Without hesitation the steward put their worries to rest and
tells them to not be afraid. He then gives them good treatment in which they
could relax, get cleaned up, and prepare them for their meal. As soon as Joseph
entered into the room they presented gifts of forgiveness for the incident with
the silver to him and bowed down. Joseph didn't pay any attention the gifts
though, all he did was ask them more about their father (his father), Jacob.
After hearing that Jacob was still alive and doing well, Joseph
then looked to Benjamin. Just to be sure, he asked the brothers if this was
their youngest brother. When it was confirmed he told Benjamin that he has been
blessed by God. After just speaking to him Joseph was overcome by his emotions
and quickly left the area and wept in his private room. Finally we see what has
been held inside of Joseph's heart for so long. I think when he looks at
Benjamin he sees a lot of himself back when he brothers first sold him. A young
guy, blessed by God, very timid. I think he sees himself for a second and
immediately feels the pain of what he want through at Benjamin's age. I think
at that moment Joseph was slowly becoming free from the pain he had held in his
heart for so long from his brother's betrayal and started to hand it over to
God.
After Joseph was able to compose himself he came back out to
start the lunch with his brothers. Interestingly enough, Benjamin's servings of
lunch were five times as much as anyone else's. Clearly Joseph is up to
something by doing this so we'll just have to wait and see what exactly it is
all about.
The biggest thing I take away from this chapter is focusing on
how Joseph confronts his fears, his biggest sorrows. He is confronting his
brothers and all of the pain that he took with him when they sold him away to
Egypt. Clearly it isn't easy for Joseph, he had to go away to a private place
in house to let all the tears out. I think it was a lot more than just that
though. He was in that prison for so many years, his entire time at Egypt he
was probably wondering what this moment would look like confronting his
brothers and now he finally has the chance and I think it really takes him for
a spin. Here's how he is able to face this fear though, because he gives it to
God. He gives him the burden of that pain and because of that he is able to
hold strong in the midst of his brothers. I admire him for facing those fears.
So often in life we just run away from our fears, our deepest wounds that hurt
us the most. We find the easiest way out and take it, but all were doing is
putting those fears off until they find us later in life. I encourage myself
and anyone else to really tackle those fears but importantly to give it to God.
1 Peter 5:7 says "Cast your anxieties on [me] because [I] care for
you." so why not take that gift for what it is worth and give those fears
to God? He truly is greater than anything we could ever face so always remember
that and I challenge you to really look deep inside and ask yourself if you
have confronted those fears? Have you trusted the Lord in that and given them
to him? Really challenge yourself in that just like Joseph did. Seek the Lord
in that, be real with yourself.
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