Man's desires and God as Beauty

12/1

While beauty brings about peace and joy, any exposure we have of it is accompanied by discontentment. All encounters with beauty seem to only be teases. Why is this the case? I’m going to go back to C.S. Lewis. Let’s think about desire. Human beings desire beauty. I don’t mean humans desire to be beautiful, i.e. look attractive. I mean there is a deep desire in all our hearts to watch the proverbial sunset forever. We desire to not only witness beauty, but also partake of it. We wish to share in beauty eternally. Not only that, but we wish to engage beauty fully with others. The beauty we sensually experience in life has two significant problems: it is temporary and limited. Sunsets are beautiful, but they are not beautiful enough to satisfy what we long for. The sun inevitably sets, and we can never see the entire extent of the sky or horizon. 

I agree again with C.S. Lewis when he suggests that humans do not have desires that cannot be fulfilled. Every hole we seem to have in our innermost being has a perfect fit that fills the void completely. For beauty, there must be something that satisfies our longing. Things we call beautiful only contain traces of the real Beauty, or maybe act as pointers back to that ultimate puzzle piece our spirits lack. 

Some may stop here and question the implications of the conclusion I point to. If there is some ultimate, eternal sunset, who is to say it will always captivate us? What if we grew tired of constantly staring at the sky? What if its effect wears off, or our hearts grow a tolerance to the perfect beauty? I doubt these questions have merit. Like I said, the beauty we long for is eternal and ultimate. I don’t think it would be possible to exhaust something infinite. If we were able to tire of this beauty, I feel that means we had experienced everything the beauty had to show or offer. The nature of infinity does not allow for us to understand its entirety. If someone were to suggest to me that a thousand finite beauties were better than one infinite beauty, I would suggest that person weigh a thousand to infinity. 

As I have gently asserted, I believe there is an ultimate Beauty. It is some noun that perfectly satisfies our insatiable thirst we discover we have after seeing a sunset. If your mind is anything like mine, language like “ultimate noun” hints at God. In the first class, Dr. Redick asked me if I knew what Beauty was. Ashamedly, I replied “I don’t know.” After taking time to reflect, I now know without a doubt. In class, I was confused whether or not Beauty was God Himself or something of the Lord’s creation, some distinct entity that satisfied our longing and pointed us to God. The latter option seems unnecessary and unlikely. If God were to create some thing that perfectly met our desire of Beauty, we would only recognize that it was beautiful because it reflected the perfect, holy, ultimate God. In other words, we would only know it was beautiful because God was beautiful, thus making God our standard of beauty. Additionally, I cannot imagine a place where man could encounter both this theoretical creation called “Beauty” and the Lord, and focus on anything other than God the Father. 

I realized that what I was attempting to do with separating "Beauty" from God was make "Beauty" God in its own right. I was simply renaming God. Instead, I should have realized that God is Beauty, and not try to make Beauty God. For God is far more than beautiful; He is also loving, just, powerful, wise, and all the other qualities we attribute to Him.

Experiencing beauty

12/1

It is important to distinguish between emotional, physical, or spiritual sensations when experiencing beauty. Several explanations posited by my fellow students suggest one experiences an outpouring of positive emotions in response to sensual experience when reacting to beauty. I find a few faults in such an explanation. To start, not everything I consider beautiful is experienced through my senses. Would memories be considered beautiful? Perhaps when people say a memory is beautiful, they really only mean that the past event was beautiful then and the memory itself does not currently contain the memory’s former beauty. Fine. Would imaginations be considered beautiful? Events we conjure in our minds that have never occurred in reality are often labeled as beautiful, yet lack any true sensual interaction. I would argue there is beauty in imagined things, whether or not our senses are involved in perceiving the imagination. 

Additionally, when I find myself before something I consider beautiful, I would not dare describe my emotional reaction as strictly positive. We discussed the idea of ‘numinous’ when Dr. Redick probed at the emotional philosophy. I was also thinking along the same lines. While many of my emotions are positive—happiness, calmness, rest, etc—I also felt emotions few consider pleasant—longing, loneliness, shallowness. Though unpleasant emotions accompany my experience, I never doubt the beauty of what I behold; on the contrary, these pains increase my surety that what I behold is truly beautiful. In fact, emotions do not contain the full breadth of my experience. 

Perhaps a clear example may be of help here. Let me describe the beauty of a sunset. As I gaze into the blazing sky of color, from brilliant clouds glowing pink to the fiery red of the western horizon to the deep violet of the sky’s zenith, a deep sense of peace fills my being. Emotionally, I am at ease. Physically, I feel relaxed. Spiritually, (if you allow me to use that word, or if not, then ‘in my deepest sense’) I seem to be recognizing this ‘good’ or ‘right’ that I can hardly describe. Along side with peace, I have joy. Emotionally, I am happy. Physically, I am experiencing a sense of pleasure. Spiritually, this ‘good’ is gladly acknowledged and welcomed. 

Amidst peace and joy, another sensation is seizing my being. It is harder to label, but obvious to describe. Emotionally, there is a longing in my heart. Physically, a slight tension plays in contrast with my ease and pleasure, almost like the feeling of suspense. Spiritually, the ‘good’ I recognize seems to be out of reach. In the face of beauty, I become uncomfortably aware of my own inability to grasp the entirety of beauty. The depth and richness of present beauty exposes within my heart my own shallowness, smallness, and lack of beauty. Along side this hollow sensation, I experience a deep sense of isolation. This loneliness is felt most strongly, as you would guess, when I am alone. One student in class recited a quote from the author of 'Into The Wild’ which succinctly summarizes such a feeling: “Beauty is meaningless unless it is shared."

Subjectivity and objectivity

12/1

Is beauty universal or individual? Well, this is difficult to answer. It is obvious that some people find "X" beautiful, while others abhor "X" and instead find beauty (quite provocatively) in "Y". This, of course, drives those who prefer "X" mad. Both groups, however, agree that "Z" is undoubtedly atrocious while W is unquestionably beautiful. What the heck am I saying? Some beauty seems to be subjective, but certain things either have universal beauty or un-beauty (whatever the opposite of beauty is). So what might the answer be?

I tried to reconcile beauty’s duel appearance with a compromise of sorts. I argue that beauty is objective; it is an ultimate standard or desire. Beauty in itself is perfect and constant. Humans, on the other hand, are not. Human perception of beauty is, to a certain extent, subjective. Some people can see beauty in things like snakes and spiders, creatures I see worthy of extermination. But who am I to say they are wrong? Is there anything inherently wrong with a spider or snake? No. I simply don’t like them for whatever reason. Yet, there are things no sane person would ever consider beautiful. No witness to a murder has ever described their horrific scene as beautiful. Nor does any individual or culture allow for any recognition of beauty in rape or theft. 

So, beauty is objective and man’s perception of beauty is at least slightly subjective.

Humans Being

Humans Being

I often find myself doing.  Doing homework, doing life, and if I am in the process of not doing much I sure as hell am thinking about doing much.  It's exhausting and distracting where is the life in always striving to do things?  When can rest ever come if I am always conforming to the pressure to do?  Some say, "there isn't rest, not until your dead, so do all you can now."  Do so much that when you get to that point you can do more.  I've been wrestling with this idea of doing and being learning the difference between laziness and being, and learning the difference between working hard using your body and mind the way it was designed and doing in a striving/vain manner.  I am learning to recognize the difference between working hard in a place of being and doing from a place of striving, and one of those indicators is my encounter with beauty!  I find it most difficult, near impossible, to admire, let alone encounter, beauty when I am distracted by doing things in a striving manner.  It's as if I am totally zoned out just moving through life without any recognition of everything happening around me I am so driven by pride and vain efforts towards some thing that I think is worth it.  This reminds me of Martin Buber's discussion on the relationships between people and people/things "I and Thou vs. I and It" "I, It" is a perfect demonstration of the effect of someone who is doing in a striving manner, never present always seeing the relationship as a means to the striving persons end.  However, when being, there is a total and complete presence which opens an individuals eyes to beauty and encounters with beauty.  This next thought however, is somewhat contradictory to what I was saying, but Beauty calls us into being it demands all in that moment whatever we had fixed on our mind, whatever we were doing it ceases for the overcoming power of Beauty.  It is an interesting paradox how there is a need for one to reside in a place of being in order to be opened to beauty or Beauty, and yet the idea that it does not matter if a person is in a place of being or doing, that one can get derailed from their vain efforts of doing by Beauty.  Both equally call us to back to our nature the place we were designed to live from, Humans Being not Humans doing.

Beauty in Changing Seasons

Beauty in Changing Seasons 

Topic of Choice 

November 30, 2015

One of my favorite parts of growing up in Virginia is the mild climate that allows me to experience all of the different seasons. There is something beautiful about the change that occurs naturally ever few months. After a long summer of sweltering heat and thick humidity my whole being welcomes the crisp, clear air and new colors that fall provides. I even love the raw cold that winter brings. The same lake in my neighborhood that I used to go fishing at as a kid, I used to throw rocks on when it was frozen over in the dead of January. By the end of February, my soul is eager for the new birth that Spring brings. The beauty of the seasons is found not only in their weather patterns but also in the power and influence they hold over my thoughts and emotions. I find myself to favor contemplation in the winter and action in the summer. Spring abounds with hope while fall resounds with peace. Nearly everything, from musical to culinary to literature preference, changes with the seasons. As the seasons change, so I change with them. This is one of the most profoundly beautiful mysteries of life. Maybe one day I will know what it is like to live in a tropical environment all year long. But if not I am okay with that. Every few months I feel the need for a change so significant that I have no power over it. This, I find in the changing of the seasons. 

Beauty of Symmetry

Beauty of Symmetry 

Topic of Choice

November 30, 2015

I remember the first time I walked the campus of CNU. I was a junior in high school, driving back from a trip to Virginia Beach with some friends. We decided to take a bathroom break on the same exit that CNU was off of and walk on the campus for a few minutes. I had only vaguely heard of CNU before and had not a clue what to expect of the campus. What I saw astonished me. The campus, though small and contained, was beautifully constructed. As I walked the great lawn for the first time, I stood in awe of the regal brick buildings. The beauty of the campus remained etched in my mind for the rest of the ride home that night. After having walked the same path I did that night, going through the heart of campus never gets old for me. I especially love walking across the great lawn on a late fall afternoon, admiring how the pastel sky complements the same stately buildings that first stunned me. Upon further reflection of my first encounter with the campus, I believe it was the symmetry of everything that led me to exclaim of it’s beauty. It seems to me that equality in proportion is an aesthetic principle of great value. When things balance out and fit together we marvel. Symmetry makes things belong by putting them into a predetermined order. 

Redemption in the Rise and Fall

In general colloquialism, people talk about going uphill as a good thing and going downhill as a bad thing. When encouraging another, some will say, "It's all uphill from here!" In recounting a personal tragedy, "everything went downhill from there"; if anything went up, it went up in flames.

These phrases make me wonder: if these people using these phrases went on a hike, would the terms switch? Do they say uphill is easy because they have never experienced the abject, gritty misery of an unrelenting climb? Do they view the word "downhill" as a descent into ruin because they haven't ever sprinted down a mountainside, allowing their weight to throw them into momentum, wind gloriously pelting them in the face?

Metaphorically, these descriptors make sense. It's fairly well-recognized that mountaintops are better than their corresponding valleys. However, the respective aesthetic experiences on the journeys don't match up to their destinations.

Perhaps this provides some insight into the nature of spiritual journey - while the trail of a Christ follower is steep and treacherous, all of its strain and exhaustion pales in comparison to the glory of the peak. And likewise, the downhill run of one succumbing to temptation is easier and feels much more natural, but eventually slows to a halt at the very bottom of the valley.

“Son,'he said,' ye cannot in your present state understand eternity...That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say "Let me have but this and I'll take the consequences": little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why...the Blessed will say "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven, : and the Lost, "We were always in Hell." And both will speak truly.”

- C. S. Lewis, The Great Divorce